Needless to say, when each one of us remembers Roque, we will all have different stories- ones that remind us of a husband, a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend or as a co-worker. He took on these many roles, but with each one, his actions were consistent and genuine- always humble, always caring and always generous. I knew Roque as a friend and we are members of each others extended families.
In his role as a husband, Rosie said she would like everyone to remember him a good person and someone that took care of his family. Rosie, I am sure that everyone assembled here today couldn't agree with you more. Both you and Roque are very special people: your legacy as a couple is one to be admired and cherished by all of your family and friends.
Charmaine recently wrote that, "She has lost the most important thing in her life- her Daddy" and Marion was thankful that her Dad "put his family first and that his sacrifices always were made to fulfill her needs". So, it comes as no surprise to anyone that for his three ladies, Roque played the roles of father and husband with unconditional love and compassion.
As a son, he continued to keep the memory of his parents alive; their pictures still adorning his home- memories of the mother he lost as a child and a father that his children adored.
Roque had a co-dependent relationship with is mother-in-law, Mrs. Silveira. She would cook him his favourite food and he would run her errands. He even had a package of her famous chapattis delivered to him at the hospital during his last days.
As a sibling he was the quiet one, always maintaining a sense of calmness- typical Roque- a silhouette of peace.
For the rest of us, life's fleeting moments and everyday experiences are now treasured memories:
If you ate with him, you knew that he enjoyed rice, curry and rechar masla fish- a typical Goankar! At the same time, he wouldn't pass up teriyaki chicken.
If you asked him, "Roque, what will you have to drink?" you knew very well that with a shy smile and a relaxed voice he would reply, "Uhm, I'll have a beer".
A game of truque, his favourite CDs, Cadbury fruit and nut chocolates, the time he took to design and print mass booklets and cards: all of these things will continue to remind us of you, Roque.
In a waking moment, while his breath was slowly fading away, I felt very fortunate to have been able to thank Roque personally for being such a great friend, especially at times when my family needed him the most. Roque responded with a single tear. Both Roque and Rosie have always been at the doorstep of our family home- to feed us even when our fridge was full- all the while knowing that our kitchen had become an empty and lonely room without my Mum so, they came in to fill our house with life; they both made us laugh even when we felt like crying. For this sincere generosity, I will always be grateful. Thanks, Roque and Rosie, for just being there! Us east-enders really miss you!
Our time with Roque stretched for many years but came to a peaceful end last week. Some may say the time was too short, others will say that they will remember the good times. All of us will agree that we need more people like him to make our time on earth a much happier experience.
Expressing your feelings about someone's life in words or on paper is difficult …as is love; and friendship; and generosity; and humility. But Roque lived with all of this and he lived it well - and he shared all of it with us. So, we now live to tell our stories about him- all from different angles but all colliding in agreement that Roque- no matter how you knew him- will live on with an eternal smile, never boisterous and forever giving.
"This is the way he lived. That is what he leaves us."
Rest peacefully, Roque. Guide Rosie, Charms and Babes through life but be assured that they will continue to be loved and cared for.
We will all miss you.
